Husband and Wife Minus a Few Organs

And then they returned. Two years almost to the day since they had left. Back at the hosptial for more body part removals. This time it was Kelly's turn to draw the straw. He had his appendix removed yesterday afternoon. Funny to think two years ago it was me in that bed laid up from thyroid removal. Guess he and I really just don't like keeping our organs in our body or whatever.

On average in 10 years of being together we've made about 187 trips to the hospital for one reason or another (minus three parents and all). But visits where one of us was in the bed keep us at about once every 2 years... almost statistically. So I guess given the math, we were due?

Praying for a speedy recovery for him to get back on his feet quickly. I am currently doing the whole working virtually stuff and trying to not fail at job, mother, wife, etc. Things like wishing it hadn't snowed a foot last night... and additionally, how does this damn snow blower work anyway? Have you ever heard of heart attach snow? The stuff that's so wet and heavy it will give you one just from shovling? On that note, its a good thing I am at the hospital already. Athough, the law of averages will tell me not to expect to be back in bed myself until 2013.

So, see you in a few years Unity. Keep the light on for us.

This is your life

Do you ever get the feeling that the events which helped to shape you actually kind of left you pretty screwed up?

I do. All of the time.

When I talk about my life with people who are just getting to know me, things kind of come out in snippets. And then there's generally this moment when the bigger picture starts to reveal itself and this new friend kind of gives that look like, "wow. really?" and I sort of stammer around the issues and am like "tada! yep that's me!" And they process it, which causes me to process it, yet again. As if I don't fixate on things enough on my own.

So this happened in part yesterday. And it left me in that same familiar place. Where I think about the messed up situations I've been in. The just general fucked-up-ness that is my overall life. And I am left wondering, what permanent damage has been done? Am I screwed up? If I was, would I even know? I sort of feel like talking to a therapist about this kind of thing. But then again, the idea of that kind of also pisses me off. Like screw you life! You will not drive me down that path. I will persevere on my own.

But than I feel like, I'm really not screwed up. And my life isn't total crap. Its just kind of had a few bad runs. And I think about "this is your life" and if I was on that game show and presented with the circumstances of it what would be my summary? Shall I wail away on a couch in a corner office about how crappy things can be? Or be the "strong one" one more time.

I'll choose strength. But that gets kind of annoying too. I know, I simply can't be pleased. I think the problem with strength is that it often gets misunderstood. That because we can manage, we somehow care less? I posted on facebook about a friend the other day something about strength. "Those that are perceived to be the strong ones still need a hand to lift their burdens. Therefore, do not mistake strength and perseverance as a desire to go it alone. Sometimes the strong ones need the most love as they are left to carry on alone."

I don't really have a point to the end of this post. Just some random thoughts in my head. Other than to say, think about the strong ones sometime soon. Think about what they might have been through and overcame in their life. Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease... but if you never oil the other one, it might fall off.

Big Week Done

"They can because they think they can." - Virgil

This was a big week of presentations for me. My week was literally book ended with me being on the stage speaking. I'm not in love with public speaking. But I did it, because I had faith in myself that I could.

Some people even told me I did a good job. So hey.. either I did o.k. or they are blowing smoke up my you know what. Either way... I'm good with it. :)

So what is my gift for accomplishing this? I'm sick. Either still or again. Not really sure any more. I've been fighting a cold for a while. And I thought I was getting better. But honestly, I think my body was just holding in there long enough to complete this week. Because almost immediately at 4 p.m. on Friday I just crashed and haven't recovered as of yet on Saturday.

So here's to being off the stage and on the NyQuil. :) peace out.

See Ya 2010!

I have not the time nor the desire to document every single awesome thing that happened in twenty-ten. I've got two little hellions out in the other room to play with.

So I am just popping in here to wish all a happy new year and remind yourself to be thankful for every experience that you had this past year be it good or bad.

I don't make true resolutions for the new year, but there are a few things I'd like to accomplish in 2011. I'd say this is more of a bucket list than a resolution list.

1. Complete my first warrior dash
2. Run a half marathon
3. Attempt a winter sport
4. Have hair long enough to make a ponytail

And now for my "un-resolutions". :)
1. Clean my silverware caddy more often. I looked in there yesterday and it is nasty as hell.
2. Wear cuter pajamas to bed. I seriously must look like a homeless person to my husband.

Here's to wishing you all a happy and healthy 2011.

Therapy Update

Max has been in therapy for probably 2.5 months or so. And I am so thankful for it! His speech therapist has been fantastic. He is now doing what they call "intentional two word combinations". So things like "juice mama" when he wants juice, and "poopy mama" when he has had a blowout diaper and has shit running down his legs. (but that's a story for another day).

I'm so proud of that little bugger and happy that we made the decision to do the work to help him. Today I am thankful for his teacher. She joins us for merely an hour at a time, but her work and wisdom are helping all the time.

Whew! I made it!

After a year of trying to be more thankful, followed by a thankful BLITZ over the past month. I feel good! Its nice to spend some time every so often focusing on the good in our lives.

So, here's my top 10 for 2010!

10. Getting promoted to my new job. Its challenging, but I feel like its a good fit for me and I really enjoy it.
9. My android phone and all its awesomeness!
8. Shane is doing great in Kindergarten! I can't believe how much he has changed in just a few short weeks of school. He's becoming so smart and independent!
7. Skinny jeans. Yep, I can wear them now.
6. Max is really doing well with his therapist. He's using his words so much more often, and has almost stopped banging his head completely! So happy!! In fact, she has had 2 weeks off and I am starting to see the difference her absence makes.
5. My coffee maker.
4. My husband. He's the kind of guy who sends me flowers for no reason and puts up with my shit. I'd be lost without him.
3. Books on tape, or on iPod if you will. Someone gave me a tip to try this on my long runs instead of music, and it helped me accomplish my first 10k this year!!
2. Pumpkin. I wouldn't say I learned to love it (still can't get pumpkin pie into this girl), but I have learned that its a very useful ingredient in baked goods as a substitute for fat. Pumpkin/Apple muffins were a hit.
1. I am thankful that 2010 improved upon 2009. And hopeful that 2011 will be the same.

day 24

on thanksgiving eve...i am thankful for being thankful. ive spent a year trying my best to appreciate everything i have. ive suceded and failed. but the attempt was there.